DaVinci and his legion of chunky monkeys

I love news and science and news.
They are awesome.
Like today's news tidbit of the day: Painters are fat asses too.

Okay, okay, I'm paraphrasing.
For those too lazy to clicky clicky:

"Using a computer, they compared the size of the food to the size of the heads in 52 paintings of Jesus Christ and his disciples at their final meal before his death.

If art imitates life, we're in trouble, the researchers conclude. The size of the main dish grew 69 percent; the size of the plate, 66 percent, and the bread, 23 percent, between the years 1000 and 2000.

Supersizing is considered a modern phenomenon, but "what we see recently may be just a more noticeable part of a very long trend," said Brian Wansink, a food behavior scientist at Cornell University."

Sigh.
The conclusion, I guess, is that we're all pigs and have been for a long time. Especially painters.
Congrats, on that one Mr. Scientist. I'm sure your federal grant is well-earned. Tenure here you come!

Yes, some dude at Cornell University (Sweet 16 - Woohoo!) just spent a lot of time looking at the size of plates and food in paintings of The Last Supper. Like years.

Here are my conclusions:

A) I didn't know there was more than one version of The Last Supper. DaVinci did the first, right? Who the hell did the rest? Shouldn't we be more concerned with my lack of art education than the size of the plates and the food?

B) We have an unhealthy obsession with how obsessed we are with how fat we are.

C) "Food Behavior Scientist" is not a real thing.

D) Would a modern-day version of The Last Supper be painted at a Hometown Buffet?

I get it. We all get it. We eat more than we used to. Guess what? We're BIGGER people. (full disclosure, I'm a total fat ass and am not promoting my unhealthy lifestyle.) PHYSICALLY BIGGER. We SHOULD eat more than we used to. It's a far better alternative than not having enough food.

Take for example, the notorious Body Mass Index (BMI), a popular way to let people know just how fat they are. The BMI was developed in the 1830s. Have you seen pictures of people from the 1830s? They were SMALL, FREAKING EMACIATED people. They also didn't have the best hygiene. Should we give up showers and brushing our teeth?

Society has ADVANCED. This includes food production. Massive, massive amounts of food production. You know what bigger plates and bigger portions in these paintings point out? That we are far more ADVANCED - genetically, physically and societally - than our predecessors.

Yes, our ancestors would probably call us fatties. But they would do it out of JEALOUSY and then they would sit down and gorge themselves footlong turkey subs and Baked Lays Doritos on our massive plates. Ask those kids from Africa I see on TV at night if they think our plates are too big.

Fine, we're gluttonous pigs. No, it's not healthy. But there's worse things - like taking an art history class.

Unemployment, T-shirts, Unemployment T-shirts

I have recently become very pro-socialized medicine.
This has, not coincidentally, coincided (I love it when things coincidentally coincide or vice versa) with my pending unemployment.
After three years at the cable company du jour, my position was eliminated. Corporate America gave me a kick in the ass.

That's fine. It was time to move on. I was getting far too comfortable with my surroundings anyhow. Just enough to begin resenting their societal golden handcuffs. Not that I didn't enjoy the handcuffs of decent pay and good benefits. It was a nice ride. But deep down I knew the other shoe would drop at some point. I wasn't fitting in particularly well.

Anywho, I've got a week left of employment before I begin to suck at the teat of the state. Hooray for The Great Depression!

So, I"ve been emailing resumes like a mildly insane person.

In the mean time, I've started actually acting on some of the crazier ideas I've had over the years.

The latest?
This:

http://skreened.com/booshiets

yes.
T-shirts.
For reals, yo.
So buy one. Or don't. I only need to sell about two million to never work again. That's my goal. I've sold five. (Thanks, Anna!)

And check back because we've got more designs coming. I promise you will chuckle mildly for seconds!

Oh, and I twitter now, too. Social media is apparently a big deal.

@pdshie

for insights on life, love and nah, not really. mostly BS.